Karate

• By: mrbongo
• On: 05/06/2008 10:41:06
• In: Uncategorised
• Comments: 0

Karate (Karate) pr.Ka-Ra-tay or karate-do is a martial art developed in the Ryukyu Islands from indigenous fighting methods, it is the fighting style of Karate, the sidekick of the eponymous hero in the animated TV series Batfink.

It is primarily a striking art using punching, kicking, knee and elbow strikes and open-handed techniques such as knife-hands and ridge-hands. Grappling, locks, restraints, throws, and vital point strikes are taught in some styles. A karate practitioner is called a karateka. But we need not dwell on this as this article concentrates mainly on the more important practitioner, Karate.



Karate was in the bath one day on one of the Ryukyu Islands and he was trying to figure out a way of being more badass than any mubber fubster alive. He never said "fucker" only "fubster" as he'd always know he was destined to be a violent children's entertainer.

Karate thought he'd organise a meeting between all the badasses in the land, except for hugo agogo who he thought was a twat.

Most baddases at the time practised a fighting system known as "ti" (or "tea"), popular among the pechin class of the Ryukyuans.

His plan was brilliant, he would get all bad abb mubber fubsters in the land together and they'd exchange new technique based on their training in a ti (tea). Many forms of Chinese martial arts were introduced to Ryukyu Islands by the visitors from China, mainly originating from the Fujian Province.

Karate had a plan up his sleeve, he would learn all of their bab abb moves and not tell them his. That way he could invent his own system of martial arts and call it karate, and what's more, make sure that he remained the moral and spiritual leader of the badaabbmubberfubsterfubbingcubs.

As soon as the other bad asses asked him to show his special karate move he simply used his new found skills in ninjitsu, Daito-ryu aiki-jujutsu, Shuri-te, Naha-te, Tomari-te, and internal wall skreeding to escape. He then waited for them to calm down and forgive him.

A screed is a flat board, or a purpose made aluminium tool, used to smooth concrete after it has been placed on a surface. Also used to assist in leveling the application of plaster.

Screeding is the process of cutting off excess wet concrete to bring the top surface of a slab to the proper grade and smoothness.

Wall screeder is the most inadvisable character class to use in many computer based RPG s.

But the only wall screeding you need to know about is the screeding used to construct the great wall of china, which karate built using his wall screeding skills. Karate had now become the greatest martial artist ever. Karate was able to retreat to his cave and was safe in the knowledge that he had kept his rivals in china and more importantly had managed to avert hugo agogo's attempt to invade china that night with his mongol hordes.

Karate was immortal now due to knowing all the martial art techniques.

Karate knew he could rest and meditate until all the other twabbing muddy fubbsters had died of old age and television had been invented. So he sat there until 1966 because he wanted to make sure he was in full colour awesomeness for his TV debut.

Karate arrived at a New York casting session looking for a new series to star in but to his horror, when he arrived hugo a gogo was trying out for the part of Karate as was Walter Timley (a talking bat from Surrey, England. better known as Batfink).

Karate was concerned for he knew that Walter Timley was classically trained actor with wings like a shield of steel. Walter had also taken elocution lessons, something which Karate had problems with, some people say he sounded like an American impersonating a Chinese man during his audition.

Karate was less worried about Hugo Agogo getting the part because he thought that Hugo was a bit of a twat.

Eventually Batfink got the part of Karate and Karate was forced to have steal wings crafted on his arms.

Fortunately a problem was discovered when a director asked Karate to practice Karate on Karate. Both Karate, the actor and Karate the character went to do a Karate chop on the other protagonist. Walter Timley was killed instantly and had to be replaced by his twin brother, Batfink. After some more confusion the director decided to give the role of Karate to Karate and Batfink to Batfink, though they gave the roll of Hugo Agogo to a classically trained actor as the real Hugo Agogo is some kind of twat.